HOW DO I DO THIS RIGHT? I AM A CONFUSED PARENT

            

Hey everyone, I know that you will be wondering “what exactly does she have to say?” I don’t plan on keeping you in the dark for long, so I’m going to spill the beans. But first I have some questions. Are you the kind of parent who doesn’t allow your kids to meet the public? Why?  Do your kids always keep things away from you? Do you want to know why? Do you wonder why your child stays away from society? If you’re in this category of parents, then I have some things to say to you and if you’re not, just keep on reading, you just might learn something.

Firstly, are you the kind of parents who don’t allow your kids to meet the public? Why?

Some parents will sometimes, in public, proudly tell their mates that they don’t allow their kids to go out. And they think they are right to do so. Well here’s my comment “YOUR WRONG”. Hope you saw my comment in caps. Some may say, “If we let them, they might go off the hook”. I’m sorry you feel that way but that is actually what your kids think. The mind of an adult does not work the way the mind of children work. I know I’m not a psychologist but I speak out of experience. A parent, who gives her kid opportunities to make their own decisions and trust them, will not only enjoy her children’s trust but also their best behaviors. Such parents allow their kids to make mistakes and learn from them. But some parents are too protective and simply not let their kids make mistakes and then when finally they make a mistake, it will be a scar leaving mistake and when they come crying, you start wondering what you did wrong. Well here’s an answer. You’ve been doing it wrong the whole time. Allow your kids to experience the word as it is, not keeping them under protective wings for the whole of their learning lives and when they finally go into the world they will be confused and won’t know how to handle difficult situations.  So for our mama’s who proudly say that they don’t allow their kids to go out, please re trace your steps and for those who trust their kids and let them make mistakes, bravo and keep up the good work.

    Secondly, do your kids keep things away from you? Do you want to know why?

I was once in my aunt’s house when her friend visited and told her that her daughter had started seeing her menstruation and she (the mother) didn’t know of it. She further complained that her daughter now had a boyfriend. Something she had always advised her against. My aunt burst out laughing at the end of her complaint. The woman was embarrassed and asked what was funny about the situation. My aunt replied with a question. “How many times has your daughter comes to have a mother-daughter talk with you and you actually discussed with her instead of talking to her?” The woman wore a confused look. I imagine you are wearing that look right now. Yes, you actually have to discuss with your kids and not talk to them. Listen to their complaints and what they want to do. Have an actual discussion not a “this-is-what-I-want-you-to-do-and-what-you-will-do” kind of discussion. It discourages them from talking to you. They also get discouraged if you are the kind of parent who always yell at their kids when they do something wrong. You should listen to them, and then you give your corrections. No one likes being yelled at, so does your kids.

Lastly, do you wonder why your child stays away from society?

This might not apply to everyone but a few. So here’s what I think the problem is. Parents who don’t understand today’s world. A lot of parents don’t get what this 21st century is all about. First off, let’s talk about clothings. Most parents insist on buying clothes for their teenagers. So they go to market, and the sellers tell them, “Madam see this clothe, it is what is reigning now” them they will buy it and be happy that they bought a beautiful clothe for their kid and when they get home, their child sees the clothe and feels like crying but they wouldn’t do so, so that they don’t appear to be ungrateful. And then there’s this party coming up and you want your kid to attend in the “beautiful” dress you bought for her. When you tell her about it, she gives you a silly excuse. Then there is another party and you expect her to go and she gives you another excuse. This keeps on and she misses all the fun of all the parties she was meant to attend then she losses interest in social activities. Even if she still has interest, she might not know how to behave in public, so to save her self the trouble, she won’t attend any social gathering. All this is just because of the wrong clothing. If you insist on going shopping for your kids on your own, at least allow them to come with you. Or you can develop the habit of letting them go shopping with their friends. It will let them know what is going on presently and know what to buy. Trust your kid decisions.

So you see where you’re wrong and where you’re right. Some of these suggestions might not be the reason to the problems with your child. Some come naturally. Some kids are born with the kind of sense not to trust anybody so it not your fault that they don’t tell you stuffs. Some kids also naturally don’t like social activities so don’t blame yourself. I’m not going to force you to believe me and change your approach to your kids. I’m just saying this to those who are a bit confused about how to do it right. Study your kids really well, and then employ the technique you think they will be comfortable with. Personality differs. So learn your kids and allow your self to enjoy a wonderful parenting experience. Good luck.

Some people might have one more question;

Who is this girl anyway?

I’m just a girl in her fifth year in Daughter of Divine Love Juniorate.

My name is Nnamani Adaeze.